I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
