I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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