ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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