when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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