She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she peed on how many people?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
