nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize