wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There r osticjed everywhere
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
