Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
