He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
