Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
