would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
