everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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