I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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