if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think your dad took our porno
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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