I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
