16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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