Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize