I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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