What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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