I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
