I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
