the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
