Yo dont text me then not text me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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