Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
