JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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