Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
