she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
