New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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