So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So much rum. So many feels.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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