some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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