Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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