you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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