All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
