Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
