bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
