whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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