You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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