Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
