He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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