his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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