she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Drake has all the answers
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
