the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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