you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
