I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i would punch a child for taco bell
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
