im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
