Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
