our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
