"it" just moved
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
