if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
