dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
